World Cup Lessons

1. I've argued before about the introduction of technology. Nuff said.
2. The handball rule should be altered. This must be the most inconsistently applied rule in the game. The idea of a penalty being given for handball after the ball has been blasted on to the arm of a defender at a free-kick when there's no time to get it out of the way is simply ludicrous. You'll never get rid of different interpretations by referees, but to reduce the inconsistency why not only make it handball from the hand to the elbow. Besides, this would have confirmed the legality of Luis Fabiano's excellent goal against ...(can't remember, but you know the one I mean).
3. Don't accuse those of us who proclaim that England won't win a particular game (most notably against USA and Germany) of being anti-patriotic pessimists. Some of us have dropped the delusions of past imperialism.
4. Don't think that just because England put in a couple of poor performances (as against USA and Germany), that they're bound to get better in the next one. If the system's broke, it doesn't suddenly fix itself.
5. Lay off Wayne Rooney. As a Man Utd fan, I'm as disappointed as anyone that he played poorly. BUT Rooney isn't a genius. Even at his best, he's good but not great. He rarely beats a player, his ball control is only adequate. He's never been a George Best. Also playing him next to a donkey for the first couple of games didn't do wonders for his confidence in Capello's system.
6. FIFA must introduce an appeals panel. It seems to me to be an infringement of human rights that a player can fake an injury that results in a red card for an opponent who can do nothing about it. I don't believe this undermines a referee. He can't be expected to see everything especially as players have become so adept at the sneaky elbow to the face and play-acting etc. The appeals panel (see above) can then sanction punishment against the offender.
7. Make vuvuzelas compulsory for all England crowds. This could be the best way to drown out The Great Escape.
8. Never let Emmanuel Adebayor near a TV studio. I haven't understood a word he's said. On the other hand, make Clarence Seedorf a permanent fixture. And Robbie Savage on radio too.
9. Allow the use of super slo-mo HD replays of players' faces only once per half.
10. Replace Capello with Guus Hiddink immediately.

Edinburgh Marathon

Well it's over. 4 hours and 10 minutes. I was hoping to break 4 hours but in 25 degrees of heat, the last six miles were really tough. It was very sad to hear that one runner died of a heart attack.
It started off lovely and cool, with an overcast sky, and the first 8 miles went by at an 8 minute per mile rate. I felt great. I tried to imagine I was being chased by a mad Scotsman in a kilt and tam o'shanter. When I turned round I was. A whole gaggle of them. But at least I wasn't overtaken by the Loch Ness monster. Listened to Desert Island Discs for 45 minutes on my digital pocket radio and when that finished, I'd got half-way round in 1 hour 55. Then the sun came out with a vengeance, in 79 per cent humidity. Despite taking on lots of water and energy drinks throughout, there was one point at around 20 miles when I was so thirsty I had to beg a bystander to let me finish her bottle of water which she did very graciously. Then, at the next water station I downed an energy drink so quickly I got a stitch which meant stopping every so often to stretch my stomach muscle. That put paid to the sub-four hour bid. At the end they gave you a medal that weighed seemingly half a ton depicting Edinburgh Castle. I was so knackered, it could have been the Taj Mahal and I wouldn't have complained. I joined a queue, as you do. I thought it was the queue to get out. In fact, it was to have an official photo taken. I dread to think what I must have looked like.
However, I thoroughly "enjoyed" it or do I mean "endured" it? I was pleased in that seven years ago I completed the London Marathon in almost exactly the same time. And the other good news is that I reached my £1000 target for Afrikids. In fact, as I struggled over the last few miles (most people around me did as well) it was the thought of the kids in Ghana that helped keep me going. That and Florence and the Machine on my ipod!
The biggest disappointment, however, was that this year you didn't get a free pint. Ah well. It was a great experience and, extraordinarily, having joked with my daughter Kate's friend Lois that we would race each other, and having not seen her once during the actual race, we finished within a minute of each other. And thanks to Kate and Sarah for the Bobby God and Run Lois Run signs that they made for us.
And, of course, thanks again to all of you who sponsored me.

Dogs

There have been books, films and countless articles on the dogs v cats debate. I've always favoured cats mainly because I like their independent nature and the fact that they take very little looking after. What's more, they don't smell and don't jump up at you and whiddle all over you and put their muddy paws all over your clean clothes. But the main point, and what dog lovers always fail to mention when stating their case, is that cats don't savage you and kill you. Not the domestic variety, anyway.
My anti-dog bias came home to me this week when I was on a run - part of my marathon training. A big mongrel dog ran straight at me causing me to slip on the wet grass and twist my knee. For a few minutes as I ran through the pain, I thought that six months of hard work had suddenly gone down the drain. I rested it for a day and then began a scheduled three-hour run. After 20 minutes the knee gave me shooting pains and I was momentarily in despair. Thankfully, though, I was able to run it off and all appears well now.
But my antipathy towards dogs, guide dogs excepted, remains stronger than ever.

Why I hate Eddie Izzard

I'm running the Edinburgh Marathon on May 23rd. I've been in training for several months which has been particularly hard during our seemingly endless winter. Several times I have risked injury running through ice and snow. 26.2 miles is a big deal by any measure and the event itself and all the training that leads up to it, requires not only physical exertion but also mental discipline, especially getting out of a warm bed to go running in the cold. Madness, some would say. Madness many do say.
Then you get some bastard who runs 43 marathons in 52 days, making my and thousands of other's effort look rather pathetic. I hate Eddie Izzard.
If you'd like to sponsor me, go to this website http://www.justgiving.com/Bob-Chaundy

BBC

I think the BBC is wrong to cut 6 Music and the Asian Network. Leaving aside all the arguments about nurturing new talent and so on which are undoubtedly true, there's a principle here. Public service broadcasters have a duty to look after minority interests in a way commercial operators do not. These two stations would probably never succeed in the commercial world yet are highly regarded. Radio 1, however, works in exactly the same way as the commercial channels and would not be missed in the same way.
I don't want to see any cuts but if I had to choose between one or the other, I'd shut Radio 1 before 6 Music. This would also save a lot more money since I suspect Chris Moyle's salary alone would keep both the minority channels going for ages.

Eduardo

I had to laugh when I saw that Arsenal's lawyers submitted a several page dossier to suggest that one couldn't prove that Eduardo dived. The legal bills could probably buy you a decent football league striker, notwithstanding the fact that even a moron with a lobotomy could see Eduardo was giving Tom Daley a run for his money.
However, UEFA have dug themselves a hole now. One would like to think they have signalled a determined campaign to stamp out this irritating pratice, but I'm not holding my breath. Are they going to ban every player who takes a dive? I doubt it.
There's a simple solution, and it involves using technology, something Platini and his fellows are dead against during the game but seem happy to do so retrospectively. Team captains should be allowed two referrals per match in which they can question a referee's ruling. These should be restricted to penalty decisions, sendings off, and "goals" that are scored and then ruled off-side. In the last case, they could only be referred if the referee's whistle has not blown before the "goal" is scored.
Look how tennis has removed all the "Are you serious?" moments from the sport. Cricket too has begun using referrals without too much fuss. Rugby has been doing it for years. In all these sports, you don't hear accusations that the referees or umpires are being undermined, just a recognition that they are human and have only one pair of eyes. As with rugby, if the video replays prove inconclusive, then the benefit of the doubt either falls to the defending team in respect of penalties or with the ref's original decision. Modifications to this idea would doubtless involve during trials. It's commonsense. Tell that to Arsenal's lawyers.

Medieval soldier

Much to my surprise, and delight, I discover that an ancestor of mine fought in the so-called Hundred Years War. I had traced my lineage back to the small village of Ascott-under-Wychwood, Oxfordshire to the 15th century. Records, written in Latin, have been found bearing my surname, in an Oxford college, and many from the 16th century exist in church and other official bodies' archives. However, this new discovery, discovered on a database on www.medievalsoldier.org, is dated 1384 and predates the oldest record by a distance. The curious thing is, though, that William Chaundy, a man-at-arms, was based at the Berwick Garrison, a long way from Oxfordshire. There may be a plausible reason for this. I shall make enquiries.