Saturday 16 May 2009

MPs' Expenses

Sorry Miss, I couldn't give in my homework because my sister accidentally set fire to it and the fire brigade sprayed water over it which set the dog off in a frenzy who then ate it. This kind of feeble excuse sounds almost plausible compared to the pathetic "oversights" and "regrettable errors" cited by some MPs when their expense claims are downright fraudulent. Why so many of them were passed seems to me a subject worth investigating on its own. The Fees Office must be weighed down in brown envelopes. It would be so much more honest (not a word bandied about much in this scandal) if they fronted up in a "Sorry, but look, we aren't paid very well so we were encouraged to take whatever we could get in the way of expenses" kind of way.
At BBC News, my erstwhile employer, they used to give journalists a watch. They're much prized possessions - some had the test card on their face. A story goes about how Michael Buerk and Keith Graves, during a few idle moments, were complaining that their watch straps were fraying. One of them then burrowed into the regulations book and emerged triumphant with the discovery that there existed a watch strap allowance. If it's offered, you'll take it. But I bet no one claimed for the watch strap allowance who didn't have a watch!